


Royals

by Infinatesky



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom
Genre: AU, Cute, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Minor Angst, Modern, Party, Prince!Phil, Rich - Freeform, Royalty, Slow Build, Teenagers, prince - Freeform, prince!Dan, royal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7039780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinatesky/pseuds/Infinatesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would you do if your whole life was predetermined before you were even born? Followed every move by the media, expected to marry a girl who you don't even know. This is Dan's life, and he's learned to live with it, decided to go through his whole life pretending to be someone he's not. Until he meets Phil, who shows him that maybe there's more to life then what's layed out for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So this is my life

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning to update this weekly, and the chapters will probably (hopefully) be kinda long. Hope you enjoy :)

You know what? I never wanted this. I didn't fucking ask for this. But here I am, and there is nothing I can do about it.

My bed is long and wide, about as big as a normal sized bedroom. It has four posters and long blue curtains and it looks like a bed straight out of a fairy tale. I feel like it's mocking me, "Dan, your royalty in a time when royalty means nothing but a story for social media. Dan everyone knows your every step. Dan your life is already layed out for you. Dan one day your going to have to marry a princess. Dan you can't tell anyone you're gay."

Ok, that last one would be true weather or not I was a prince. But whatever. It's even more important now.

My actual bedroom is huge. I have my own bathroom, with a rain head shower and a tub with jets. I also have like 30 matching fluffy towels. It's insane, really. Who needs that many towels?

I have a study. It's like a room in a room, with a desk and a computer and all the other office supplies I could ever need.

And of course I don't clean it all, we have cleaners who do that for us. We have cooks and tutors too. It's like I live in medieval time. I live in a fucking castle for god's sake. Except it's 2016, and it's all pointless.

I've been sitting at my desk for most of the morning, just trying to finish my homework. It's not like it's hard, I have a great tutor who teaches me well, and I'm pretty good at school anyway, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I find myself looking up and out the window infront of my desk instead. I'm up on the 4th floor, so I have a pretty decent view of our (huge) yard, the gardens and ponds and trails, and beyond that the city. It's weird looking out into the city, because in this castle it feels like sir Lancelot could come strolling in my room at any second, then you look out at the skyscrapers and super highways and remember it's the 21st century.

The sky is blue today, barely a cloud in the sky. I guess that's normal weather for the beginning of June, but I wish it was stormy and overcast instead. I always feel more at home in the stormy weather. Maybe it's because it makes me feel like my mood matches the weather, and everyone else can feel it too.

It's about 10am now, and I know Mom will call me down for Sunday brunch soon, so I decide to just go without her needing to remind me.

I walk down three flights of stairs to get to the casual dining room. I wish we could get an elevator, but I guess the stairs are basically my only sorce of physical activity. I used to play soccer, but I stopped when everyone wanted me on their team. It would have been different if they had liked me because I was good at soccer, but I wasn't, they only wanted me because I was the prince. I was like an object, a prize like a fancy jewel or trophy. It was stupid and degrading, and I don't really hang out with kids my age anymore.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I could already smell the delicious scent of pastries, fruit smoothies, and bacon. My family doesn't eat together that often, because we're all busy (well, I'm not, but everyone else is). My mom is busy orginizing my life, my sister's life, and money and stuff. My dad is busy being the king (apparently... I don't know what that even means, what say does the king have when we have a political leader?) and my older sister is busy partying and hanging out with other important teens, like kids of celebrities, or dukes and duchesses. We all eat Sunday brunch together though, so it's a pretty big deal.

My sister, princess Alexandra (or Alex if you're not a 'commoner',) is already at the table, chatting with one of the maids. "Hey Alex, hey Missy." I say, addressing them both as I sit down and grab my phone out of my pocket. I put my headphones in and turn up the music, but I only get to listen for about 2 seconds before my mom and dad walk in.

"Headphones out Dan. What are we, moody teenagers?" My dad jokes. He smirks as he sits down, apparently proud of his comment. I don't think it's funny, but I can't say anything with my mom here watching me. She insists we act proper, like the 'royalty we are'.

Instead I take my headphones out and stack my plate with pancakes, fruit and bacon. The food is delicious, it always is.

We eat in comfortable silence, until my mom looks at me and says: "so, Daniel, how is Beth? Are you going to go visit her again soon?"

Beth is a girl I haven't talked to since I was about 13, but my mom still brings her up sometimes. I think it's her way of telling me I need to get out more.

"I'm not sure how she is, mom. I'm sure she's doing well, I haven't heard otherwise." I speak to her while keeping my eyes glued to my plate.

"You mean you haven't talked to her?" Mom asks, sounding displeased.

"No. Not in about a year."

"Well, then I guess you wouldn't have heard about her party this coming Friday. She's invited you, as well as lots of other kids your age. All the important ones, you'll fit right in!"

"No... No, I mean... No thank you." I don't want to go. If average kids are bad, snooty upperclass kids are 10 times worse. Plus, Beth wants to marry me when were older, (I know because she told me.) and I really don't want that to happen.

"Daniel, it would be good for you, you haven't been to a party in quite a while." My mom says, and I really can't argue. If my mom wants it to happen, it's going to happen. I quickly finish my food and stand up. "Alright mom, I'll go." Now all I can do is dread it and hope it goes by fast.

Friday. That's when the party is. The problem with this is that today is Wednesday, which means I have less then one full day to get ready. I need to get a gift, pick out what to wear, pack an over night bag because she lives a two hour plane ride away, and mentally prepared myself to be in the presence of over one hundred teenagers. This party isn't going to be just a few friends over for some cake and a movie, it's gonna be huge, with live music, special guests, caterers and all that jazz. Wow, did I really just say 'all that jazz'? Someone help me.

I'm in the middle of trying to pack my bag with the perfect clothes when I feel Jazmine rubbing up agains my leg. Jazmine is my cat, and sometimes my only friend. I hang the shirt I was holding back up and bend down to pet her.

"Hi Jazmine, how are you?" I ask her, in a voice slightly higher pitched then my normal tone. I run my hand through her soft white fur, and she looks at me with her big green eyes, mewing quietly.

"I'm ok, but I'm not looking forward to the party I need to go to." I say, continuing the conversation. Yes, I'm talking to my cat, this is what happens when you never leave the house.

"I'm just trying to figure out what clothes to bring. I want to look nice, but not too fancy. Hot, but not like I'm trying to look hot. Intimidating, but still approachable. There will be hundreds of teens there, not to mention their ritch parents and probably the media. It's a very difficult decision."

It feels good to say my thoughts out loud, and the way Jazmine is looking at me makes me feel like she's listening to every word I say. When I'm done speaking, I pet her once more before standing up to continue my packing. She meows, louder this time, and rubs against my legs again as if she's trying to reassure me it will be alright, before she walks away to jump on my bed.

When I'm about half way through packing, my mom comes into my room. She walks in to join me in my closet. It's a walk in closet, big enough for 10 people to store all their clothes. I have it almost filled with just my clothes, which may add to why packing is so hard.

"Hello Daniel, I'm glad you decided to go to the party, we'll leave around 3:00pm tomorrow, and get to her house for dinner then sleep there and be ready for the party the next day. It'll just be me and you, as your father needs to stay here and your sister is busy."

"Thanks mom, I'm just packing right now." I say, though it's pretty obvious. "Ok, that's fine." She says starting to walk away. "Oh, and it's a pool party so dress accordingly."

A pool party? Now this changes everything. If I didn't want to go at all before, not I don't want to go -50. A pool party means swimsuits, and swimsuits means no shirt, and we know how much I work out. It's not like I'm fat, but I don't have abs, and I would rather not have topless pictures of me all over the media.

I walk out of my closet, done with packing for now. I may even have to restart tomorrow now that I know it'll be a pool party. I walk over to join Jazmine on my bed, lying down beside her on the end of the bed.

I didn't mean to fall asleep, I really didn't. It was only about noon and I still had a bunch to do to get ready for the party, but I ended up falling asleep beside Jazmine, lying awkwardly across the end of my bed.

When I wake up, the first thing I do is look to my clock. It's 5:00pm, so I'll be called down to dinner in about half an hour. 

I quickly force myself out of bed, and continue packing. I find myself needing to repack almost the whole thing, since I had been packing for a semi-formal party like usual.

Why can't I be a normal teen who would be excited to go to a pool party, look at hot girls and do whatever I want? Ugh, if only my life was that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Suggestions for future chapters? Don't be scared to comment! :)


	2. Getting ready

Dinner went late, because it was five courses. Mom said that since it was the last time we would all be together for a little while we had to have a good dinner, but I think she just wanted a chance to talk to me about the party, and Beth.

"So, Dan," she had said, as we started the second course, "I think there is going to be a dance to finish up the party. Won't that be fun? Who do you think you'll go with."

Whichever hot guy will take me. That's what I wanted to say, if for nothing else then to see her reaction. Instead I just said, "I'm not sure mom, I'll have to see who's there."

"Well Beth is going to be there."

So is prince Connor, but no one is saying anything about him. It annoys me, sometimes, how everyone just assumes things, like that I'll want to go to a pool party, and that I like being royal, and that I'm straight. 

"I know she's going to be there, it's her party." I know this isn't the answer my mom was looking for, but I don't care. If she isn't going to just downright ask me, then how badly does she really want to know?

This went on all through the rest of dinner. When I finally excused myself to go up to my room, it was with great pleasure.

I am now finishing packing for the party. I think I have everything I need, but I like to make sure. Swimsuit, check, pyjamas, check, semi-formal clothes, check, formal clothes, check, casual clothes, check, headphones, check. Headphones and my phone are probably the two most important things I'll be bringing with me.

I pull my suit case over to my door, so they can take it down to the car for me in the morning. 

It's already almost midnight, and I need to be up pretty early to get ready to leave. (I may have finished packing, but I'm not even close to ready to go.)

After getting in my pyjamas, I sit on my bed and look in the mirror. There is a mirror up against the wall to the left side of my bed. It's big and tall and framed in gold. The frame is neat and spirally, and when I was little I used to love running my fingers over it and winding them up the spiral as far as I could reach. 

Now that I'm older, I just stare at my reflection staring back at me. I look at myself, messy dark brown hair, with a 'weird' haircut that my mom wants me to change, (it's shaved on the sides and long on the top, with a fringe. My mom says it's too edgy, but I like it so that's that.) I'm wearing soft dark blue pyjama pants and a white Tshirt. My eyes are boring and brown, and they look tired. I look tired. This is probably why, staying up so late, but I can't help it. 

I turn off the light and climb under my blanket. The weight of the blanket and the feeling of the memory foam mattress make me feel instantly more tired then just a minute ago. 

I roll over onto my side and hug a pillow to my chest. It's times like these, all alone in the pitch black, that I feel the most alone. I wish I had a best friend who could tell me it's going to be alright, but I don't. It's ironic how so many people would jump at the chance to be my friend, yet here I am all alone again.

\- 

In the morning I wake up to the sun shining right into my eyes. Damn, I forgot to close the curtains again. Oh well, at least now I'm up and I can finish getting ready to go.

I slowly drag myself out of bed and towards my bathroom. I turn the shower on, steaming hot like always. My shower takes longer then usual, but the water is perfect today and I'm still half asleep anyways.

After getting dressed in black pants and a nice shirt, I leave my room and head towards Mr.Roy's room. Mr.Roy is my tutor. I'm sure I could have asked one of the staff to tell him I won't be here for a couple of days, but I want to tell him myself.

When I get there, I knock on the door. "Come in" he says, it sounds like he's at his desk. When I open the door, I see I was right. Mr.Roy is sitting at his desk, surrounded by a lot of papers and books.

"Hello Daniel." He says cheerfully, looking up at me. He has a French accent, which can sometimes be hard to understand, but it's nice to listen to.

"Hello Mr.Roy." I respond, matching his cheerful tone. I walk over to his desk and sit on a chair beside it, where I normally sit for my lessons. "I'm not sure if you've heard or not, but mother and I will be attending a party soon, so I won't be attending class for a couple of days."

"Ok Daniel, thanks for telling me. I won't give you any homework, just be ready to write a bit about it when you get back."

"Thanks!" I say, glad I won't have homework as an added thing to worry about. I stand up to leave. Just as I'm about to open the door, Mr.Roy says my name again.

"Daniel, have fun but be careful. The media will most likely be there, as well as a lot of people who could influence your future. Make sure you don't do anything you wouldn't want everyone to see."

"Thanks, Mr.Roy." I say, staying turned towards the door.

"But Daniel, just know that the people here will love you no matter what you choose to share with everyone." 

I nod my head and quietly thank him again, before opening the door and walking out. 

Once the door is closed again, I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I like to think that no ones knows, that no one would ever think I was gay, but sometimes I think he knows. What else would have he been talking about?

That was weird. And unexpected. But in a way now I feel more ready to go to the party.

I walk down another flight of stairs and into the kitchen, to see what the cooks are making.

Bacon, eggs and waffles, yum. I sit down at the table to wait for them to finish cooking. 

When they bring the food out, I take a waffle, egg, and two peices of bacon, but by the time I finish half the waffle I already feel full. I didn't know I was this nervous.

I walk back out through the kitchen so that I can tell them why I didn't finish, then I head back up to my room.

A gift. I just remembered I still need to get her a gift. I leave my room again and walk up a flight of stairs to my parents' room. When I get there, my dad is just leaving.

"Is Mom in there?" I ask.

"No, I think she just went down for something to eat, you can come with me if you want, I'm going to the dining room as well."

"Yes please." I say, follow my dad down the hall towards the stairs. I get along better with my dad then with my mom. Maybe it's because my dad is nicer, or because he isn't always telling me how I need to act, or what I need to do.

We walk in comfortable silence until we reach the dining room. I see my mom sitting at the table, reading a newspaper. My mom reads the news because we're in it a lot, I don't read it for the same reason.

I notice she is almost done the egg she's eating, so hopefully she'll be able to take me out to town soon to pick up a present for Beth. 

"Good morning mother." I say, I know if I make her happy she'll be more likely to take me, and she likes it when I act formal. 

"Hello Daniel, have you already eaten?"

"Yes I have, thank you." Now for the real reason I came down here, "mom, I still haven't picked out a present for Beth, and I was wondering if you could take me into town to pick one up."

"That won't be necessary Daniel, I already ordered a present for her, it will be here soon." She doesn't even look at me, just keeps reading the paper.

"Go back up to your room now, it isn't proper to sit at a table and do nothing."

"Yes, Mother." I nod and stand up, heading back towards my room. 

I am a little disappointed that I don't get to choose a gift for her myself, I like to think that I'm pretty good at picking out gifts. 

But now I just get to do whatever I want until we leave at three, so I guess it's not too bad.

Though I'm still anxious for the party, I'm starting to kind of look forward to it too. I don't really have friends, but maybe I could make some there. Why not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter he'll meet Phil. I promise.


	3. Socially awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, I've been really busy with school. Now that it's summer break, I should be able to post regularly (once a week) again. Short chapter because I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer, hope you like it :)

Plane rides have never been my favourite thing, I don't like thinking that my life is entirely in another person's hands. One wrong move by the pilot, and we could all be spiralling down towards death.

We're riding in our own private plane, just my mother and I. I've never actually been on a commercial plane, so I don't know if they're any different. 

I think we're almost at Beth's house. Well, really it's the Aymond residence, but Beth's house sounds a lot less formal. 

When we get there we'll be landing at the airport, then getting pickup up in a limo to go to the party. Of course, the party hasn't started yet, but apparently we are too special to just go to the party.

I don't understand why we need to have dinner with the Aymonds before the party, but maybe it will be nice to get to know the place before everyone else arrives tomorrow.

I think there's only supposed to be one more family there other then the hosts, a boy and his parents.

I don't know that much, my mom refuses to talk to me about it because she says I'm just getting myself more nervous.

-

"Good afternoon Queen Howell, prince Howell." The chauffeur says, opening the door to the limo for us. It's shiny black and long like always, but this one is different because the windows aren't tinted, which means anyone could look in and see us.

I don't really care but my mother does. I saw her look at the windows and frown, but she doesn't seem to care enough to make a fuss. 

When we are all seated in the limousine, the chauffeur turns to us and says "It's only a short half an hour drive to the Aymond residence, please make yourselfs comfortable." 

"Thanks" I say, and my mom nods her head. She acts weird sometimes, not speaking, as if she's too good to talk to 'commoners'. I just want to say "grow up mom, you're no different then everyone else."

-

Beth's house is more of a mansion then a castle. It's only two stories, but it's long and wide. It's made out of mostly wood and has a lot of windows, very modern looking. I don't really remember the inside, but I'm pretty sure it's quite open and friendly. 

While we pull up the long driveway, I admire the yard. Her house was bilt in the middle of a beautiful old growth forest. The trees are huge, and they reach up taller then skyscrapers. I want to live here. When I'm older I want to run away and live somewhere like this, that would be amazing. The big city is nothing compared to this.

The first thing I notice about Beth is how long her hair is. I don't remember it being long before, but now it goes down all the way past her hips. How can she stand having hair that long? It must get so hot, especially in this heat.

The second thing I notice about Beth is how tall she is. She looks like a woman now, and she's almost as tall as me.

When I step out of the car she runs towards me and throws her arms around my neck "Dan!" I hear her muffled voice against my shoulder, "I'm so happy to see you!" I hug her back, wrapping my arms around her back. "I missed you" she says, finally letting go of me and stepping back.

"You're so tall" I joke, smiling at her. I didn't realize how much I missed her, we were good friends. 

"So are you" she jokes back. 

Her parents walk up behind her, I shake their hands and say hello, then they leave us to go talk to my mother. 

"Oh!" Beth says, like she's just remembered something. "Come with me, you need to meet prince Philip, you'll be sharing a room with him while you stay here. Him and his parents got here a couple of hours ago. Come on, they're just inside" 

I follow her through the front doors and up a flight of stairs, she's going so fast it's hard to keep up. 

When she finally stops, it's infront of a door marked 'guest bed'. "This is your guys's room, I think that prince Philip is in there right now." 

"Are we going to go in?" I ask.

"We should knock." She answers.

"Ok, you knock."

"It's your room."

"It's your house"

"Fine" she knocks twice. I don't know why we were arguing, I would have been fine knocking. Probably because we never get to argue, except when we're together. Because we understand what it's like to grow up royal, not being able to argue or bicker or joke around. 

The door is opened by a tall boy (apparently everyone here is tall) with floppy black hair. He smiles at Beth, then notices me and closes his mouth.

What did I do? Why isn't he smiling at me too? God, this is why I don't have any friends, I'm not smile worthy.

"Um, Hi." He says unsurely, "I'm prince Phil, but uh I guess just Phil is better haha." 

I want to roll my eyes but instead I say "Hi Phil, I'm prince Dan, heir to the throne and future ruler of this country." 

I don't know why I said that, it's not like I even care, I would have been just as fine with saying "Hi I'm orphan Dan who hitched a ride here on the back of a train". 

I kind of regret it, but whatever. 

I try to correct myself by saying "But you can call my Dan. Nice to meet you." But he just awkwardly laughs, and Beth shoots me a look that says 'what the fuck was that Dan?' 

No one is talking, and we're all just standing in the doorway to my- our guest room. I shuffle my feet and look at the polished wood floor, this has gotten off to a great start. 

I've only been here for less then half an hour and I've already made things awkward with the only other teenage boy in the building, great job Dan.

The silence is broken by one of the workers carrying my suitcase down the hallway towards us. 

When he gets to us he hands me my suitcase and asks if I need anything else.

"No, thank you." I say, and he quickly walks away. 

I carry my suitcase into the room, and lay it down on my bed. I know it's my bed because Phil has already spread his stuff out all over the other one. 

Beth and Phil follow me into the room, Phil sits on his bed while Beth joins me on mine. I open my suitcase and put it beside me on the bed, looking towards the cabinet against the far wall.

"Do you want that or can I use it?" I ask Phil, pointing at the cabinet. 

"Oh, you can have it, I'm just going to keep my clothes in my suitcase." He smiles. 

"Ok thanks..." I walk over with my suitcase and begin hanging up my clothes in the cabinet. Both Phil and Beth watch me do it, which makes me feel kind of self conscious.

When I'm done I walk back to my bed and sit beside Beth.

Phil, her and I talk for a while about nothing really, before Phil excuses himself to go to the washroom.

When he leaves, Beth looks at me and says "are you ok? You're acting funny, and you seem really tense."

"I don't know. I just feel like I've already made Phil dislike me." I hang my head and run my fingers along my thighs. 

Beth moves so she is sitting behind me and she begins to massage my shoulders.

"Dan, you're trying to see a problem where there isn't one. It's ok, just relax, he doesn't dislike you."

"Then why did he stop smiling when he saw me?" Did I tell you Beth is really good at massages? 

"That's just how he is, it took a little while for him to warm up to me too. He told me he sometimes has a hard time making friends, which I thought maybe you would understand."

"I can make friends!" Wow Beth, way to kick a guy while he's down.

"Really? Name 5."

"Um, Jasmine..."

"Dan, I know that's the name of your cat."

"Ok fine... So he doesn't hate me?"

"No. Ok?"

"Ok."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you'd like to seem happen while Phil and Dan's relationship develops? Comment what you think!


	4. Dinner and disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains a swear word that starts with f and rhymes with truck.

After a few more minuets Phil walks back in the room, but when he sees me and Beth he seems like he wants to leave again.

At first I don't understand, but then I realize he might feel like he is walking in on something. Beth is sitting behind me, facing my back with her legs on either side of my hips. She's massaging my shoulders, which is something she always used to do when we were younger.

I don't think Beth has realized that Phil is back, because she has her head turned away from the door. I stand up off the bed quickly, accidentally bumping her chin with my shoulder. 

"Hey!...oh" she says, realizing why I stood up.

"It's okay, I can go.." Phil says, he looks letdown, like we broke a promise.

"No it's ok, me and Dan aren't doing anything, I was just massaging his shoulders, they can get really tight." Beth explains, then she adds "I would never date him, eww!" 

Well, at least she doesn't want to marry me anymore.

Phil smiles, like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. "Oh, really? Mind if I try?" He asks looking towards me.

I'm not really sure what he's asking, but I find myself saying "go ahead".

He walks over behind me and gently places his hands on my shoulders, I feel myself tense up. A boy is touching me. Sure, he's only touching my shoulders, but still. 

Phil starts to massage gently, moving his fingers quickly across my back. His touch is cool even through the material of my shirt. 

I feel my eyes closing and my muscles relaxing. No offence Beth, but your massages are nothing compared to this. 

After what felt like mere seconds but must have been closer to five minutes, Phil lifts his hands off my shoulders and let's them drop back at his sides. 

I quickly open my eyes, not wanting him to see that I had closed them. 

"That was... Amazing. Thanks." I said.

He laughed, "thanks, my mom used to be a masseuse, and she taught me a few things".

Just then, a there's a knock on the door, and a woman's voice that I don't recognize says "It's time for dinner".

"Alright you lovebirds, let's go downstairs to the dining room. The cooks made salmon for dinner, I'm so excited!" Beth says, already standing up to leave. 

I blush at Beth's 'lovebird' comment. I'm sure it was just a joke, but I'd hate for her to give someone the wrong idea. 

I glance over at Phil to see his reaction, and am surprised to see he's blushing too.

What if he's... No. Impossible. I'm not even sure I like him that much, even just as a friend, anyways. 

We both trail behind Beth as she leads us to the dining room. 

When we get there, I notice that there are only two empty seat beside each other, and one on the other side of the table beside Beth's mom. 

Before I have too long to think about our seating arrangements, Beth walks over and sits beside her mom, leaving Phil and I no choice but to sit beside each other in the two empty seats. 

Before long the staff are coming around with shiny silver dishes overflowing with delicious looking food and dishing it out for us. 

Within a minute everyone's plates are filled with glazed salmon, shrimp, and an assortment of cooked vegetables. 

I eat with my best table manners, napkin on lap, outside utensils first, fork in left hand, knife in right hand.

For about the first five minutes no one says a word, which I don't mind, but makes dinner a bit boring.

Then, Mr. Aymond starts talking, which I would be fine with except for he started talking to me, about the most awkward subject ever. 

"So Daniel, are there any girls you fancy back in the city?" 

....What? Why would you even say that?? What kind of a conversation starter is that?? Oh my god, I'm going to die.

"Um not really sir, no." I reply, looking at my plate.

"And what about you Philip?" He asks. I'm glad he didn't question me more, and honestly, I want to know what Phil's answer will be. 

"Oh no sir, you know me." Phil answers.

You know me? What the fuck does that mean? 

"Well, you boys should keep an eye out, there will be some fine girls at the party, and you both are getting close to marrying age."

Obviously I'm nowhere close to actual marrying age, but that doesn't mean the media wouldn't love to have a love interest to focus on, and I know it annoys my mom that I don't even seem to care about getting a girlfriend. (Well mom, have you ever actually asked me if I want a girlfriend? Or why I don't?)

Neither Phil nor I seem to know how to respond to that, so everyone keeps eating in silence. 

Soon the waters come out to offer seconds of everything, and I take another plate full. It's just so good. 

My mom and the other parents start talking about some boring subject I don't care to listen to, and I take a break from eating to look at Phil. 

He is eating carefully and slowly, watching the conversation with dull eyes, like he's somewhere else in his mind.

His eyes man, they're so cool, bright and expressive and pretty. His skin is light and smooth, and his hair is so black it almost looks blue. The contrast is pleasing to look at. 

When I look away from Phil after a couple minutes of innocent staring I notice that Beth had seen me watching him. She looks surprised, but when she makes eyes contact with me she smiles reassuringly. I wish I knew what she was thinking.

Once everyone has finished eating the waiters clean the table, then start bringing out dessert.

They bring out cheesecake with a cherry sauce and vanilla ice cream. Instead of serving us this time, they put the dishes on the table so we can serve ourselves.

When it's my turn, I take a slice of cheesecake and two scoops of ice cream, then pour the sauce over both of them. 

When I pass the dishes to Phil I'm surprised to see he doesn't take any cheesecake, just a small scoop of ice cream. 

While we eat our desserts, I listen to everyone talk about various things like the party and the guests that are coming, but I don't join in. I notice Phil doesn't either. 

When I'm done the waiters come and take my dish away, along with my mothers and Phil's, everyone else is still eating.

I watch as my mom stands up, then motions for me to follow her out of the room. I don't understand what she's doing, but I follow her out anyways.

We walk a little ways, until we get to a guest room which must be the one that my mom is staying in. I can see her suitcase on the floor tucked neatly under the bed. 

"Daniel," she starts "I wasn't very happy with you at dinner."

What? I did everything perfectly, I tried so hard. 

"You ate much more then acceptable, and you didn't make eye contact when talking to your superiors. I hope you'll do better tomorrow. Now go, I'm busy." 

I'm surprised to find myself holding back tears as I walk out of her room and back towards the dining room. 

When I get there Beth and Phil are just leaving, I walk over and join them. 

-

"Dan, are you ok? What was that about?" Beth asks. We're back in me and Phil's room now, all sitting on my bed. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. My mom just wanted to show me where her guest room is."

Beth looks at me like she doesn't believe me, but she lets it go. 

"Well, I'm probably going to go to sleep soon, I wanna get a good rest before the party. You guys probably do too." She says, standing up off the bed. "Goodnight, I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Both me and Phil say, then she leaves, closing the door behind her. 

"I guess we should go to sleep soon." Says Phil.

"Yeah, I'll go to the bathroom to get into my pyjamas if you want to get changed in here." I suggest.

Phil nods and I grab my pyjamas then leave to find the bathroom. 

Soon we're both lying in our beds with the light out, ready to go to sleep.

I'm so nervous for the party, but Phil's even breathing from across the room seems to relax me, and I'm asleep before I know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, please comment what you think.


	5. Nighttime wandering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a while. Hope you enjoy.

_I'm in my room, back at my family's castle. It's dark but all the lights are on, like I have a film over my eyes, altering my vision._

_I see my dad and my mom silhouetted in the doorway. Their figures are dark from the light behind them and I can't make out their expressions._

_I try to move towards them, but my body feels heavy and I am unable to lift either of my feet. I'm stuck in place._

_Beside me I hear a voice. Quiet, undescribable, almost as if it could have just been the wind through my window._

_I look down towards the voice, but don't see anything. My vision is snapped back towards my doorway when I hear a scream. It's my mother's, high pitched and frantic, uncontrolled. The scream is very unlike her, and it scares me so much that I manage to step one foot back._

_Then I see my father wince, and fall forward. He doesn't move to get up. He doesn't move at all. My mother doesn't try to help him. She stands straight and tall, silent sobs shaking her frame._

_I try to call out,  but my voice falters and no sound comes out. I try again to move but again I can't. I'm scared_. 

-

I awake suddenly, and find myself back in Beth's guest room, Phil still asleep in the bed beside mine. Of course I'm still here. What a strange dream. 

Some people say that we should listen to our dreams, that they can show us things about the future, but I don't believe that. At least, I don't want to. I don't want to think about that dream at all. 

Retrieving my phone from under my pillow, I check the time. 5:30 am is not when I wanted to wake up, but I don't think I'll be able to fall back asleep. 

After staring at the ceiling through the dark for what feels like hours, I give up and pull on a hoodie and sweat pants before leaving the room, making sure not to wake Phil. 

I'm not sure where I'm going, and I have to take care not to get lost in this huge mansion. Maybe I can find some door to outside, get some fresh air. 

All the hallways look the same, especially now in the dark. I get lost even while trying my hardest not to. 

Leaning one shoulder against the wall, I look around, at the wall, the wooden floor, ahead of me down the hallway, then back the way I came. So lost. So doomed. I'm not sure what will happen if someone finds me wandering around, but I'm thinking it probably won't be good. 

Suddenly I feel tired again, like a wave of sleep washed right into me. I slide down the wall towards the ground. The wood is surprisingly comfortable, and the wall is so smooth. I close my eyes, just for a second. I just need a second, then I'll find my way back. 

-

"Dan" a whisper. I feel hands on my shoulders, shaking me gently. 

"Dan!" Again, sharper this time, and the shaking continues. 

I look up and slowly open my eyes. Standing over me is Beth, she appears just as confused over seeing me as I am her. 

"Good morning." I say. I feel awkward and I'm probaby not making it any better. How long was I asleep curled up on the floor? The hallway is alluminated now, so long enough for the sun to rise.

Beth removes her hands from my shoulders then says, "Oh my god, Dan! What the he'll are you doing?" She is still whispering, so I assume it's still early enough for the others to be sleeping. I hope so.

"I- I couldn't sleep." I say, averting my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Oh hun..." Beth says, her voice softer. "Come on then, let's go to my room until morning." 

She reaches towards me and extends a hand. I grab it and she helps my stand up, then leads me though the maze of hallways until we get to a thick, engraved wooden door. Her bed room. 

Inside is a huge room, close in size to my own bedroom. There are mutiple doors leading out and I assume they lead to bathrooms, closets, and other smaller rooms for her to do whatever she pleases with. 

I follow her towards a long black couch pushed up to an all glass wall. The view out of the wall is gorgeous, thick green forest, tree after tree after tree. Something about her bedroom reminds me of Edward's room in the twilight movies.  

She sits on the couch, and I sit beside her. The couch is so long, but we sit close, and she rests her head on my shoulder. 

We sit in silence for a while. This isn't so bad. I could never love her romantically, but I could love her. If I have to marry a girl, Beth would be my first choice, and probably the only one I could live with. 

After a while, she lifts her head off my shoulder, then shifts until she is more-or-less facing me. 

"Hey Dan, I wanna talk to you." She smiles reassuringly as she says this, but it still puts me on edge. 

"Okay..." I reply, unsure where this is going.

"First I just want to say that I've missed you, and I love you." 

That's not an odd thing to say, she used to say 'I love you' to me all the time. I almost feel bad that I never return it, although she doesn't seem to care. 

I nod and let her continue. 

"We haven't talked in a while so I feel like we need to get caught up, and I noticed how you looked at Phil."

She pauses, watching my reaction. 

I try not to look worried, but I can feel fear bubbling up. Fear of being figured out. Fear of being judged, fear of being hated. 

"I was just wonder if you are gay. It doesn't really matter to me but- oh Dan it's ok."

Tears are falling down my cheeks upon their own accord. I can't believe it, I've kept up the same lie all my life and she's seen right through it in less then a day.

But I can't say yes. If I say yes she'll never marry me. It's selfish and horrible, and I feel ashamed to put my own needs above hers, but I have to.

"No. I'm not I swear." It's horribly unconvincing, especially considering the tears still on my cheeks. I reach a hand up to wipe them off.

"That was an odd reaction for not even being gay." She looks at me, unconvinced. 

"I know. I'm... I'm tired. That's all."

"Okay then." She she looks down at her hands then back at me. "Are you bi then?"

"Beth!" I half say half gasp. She says it so casually that it surprises me. 

"Dan it's no big deal. Not here anyways." She looks at me, expecting an answer. When I say nothing, she continues. "It's ok if you're not ready to tell me yet, but there is a dance at the end of my party before everyone goes home. I just wanted to let you know that it wold be ok for you to bring a guy, if you wanted to."

She smiles at me, and I smile back. Then she leans her head back on my shoulder and it's as if that whole conversation never happened.

-

When the sounds of people waking up and moving around start to echo in from outside her room, Beth leads my back to the guest room. 

Phil is just waking up, and he doesn't seem surprised to see us walk in. 

"Good morning." Beth chirps, moving to sit on my bed again. 

I don't follow her but instead pick out clothes to wear for the day. 

I slip back out of the room as Phil and Beth start a conversation. When I return, dressed in semi formal attire, I'm not sure if they even noticed I left.  

I assume breakfast will be served soon, so I stay standing as the other two continue their conversation. 

Within minutes we are called down to eat. The day is already beginning and I don't think I'm prepared. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any grammatical errors since I don't have a beta and I am pretty much always half asleep whenever I work on this. What do you think about Beth and Dan's relationship?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Questions? Suggestions for future chapters? Don't be sacred to comment! :)


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